Zombie Meme

I got the sweetest note from Sister Lou Ann, essentially tagging me for this blog meme. I thought it was a fun one, so anyone who wants to take a stab (or chop, or bite) out of this one, feel free.

The setup:
Zombie Outbreak. You are in the mall when zombies attack. You can have:

1. One weapon
2. One song blasting on the loud speakers
3. One famous person to fight along side of you

Now, of course, I would want MORE than one weapon. I'd want more than one song, and I'd want my love Darren by my side (and all my friends and cohorts), but that's not the meme, this is, so here goes.

I had to ask if the person fighting with me could be fictional. The answer was yes:

1. The weapon:
It was hard to choose one, especially since a zombie outbreak is something you'd like to be armed to the teeth for. It came down between three, so here they are (with the winner):

Close Quartered Combat, but no range:
The Husqvarna 336 16" Gas-Powered (you don't want to run out of power)

At a mere 8.4 pounds and sporting 2.0 hp of power, this is the chainsaw for me. Sure, you big brawny guys can wield a big ol' 18 incher (oh boy), but I need something a little more . . . reasonable. But, even though it can be mounted on a pole, it's not going to take care of those hoardes headed for me -- once I had sliced and diced through the zombies closest to me, I'd have no way to fight the zombies ahead of me. No good.


Can clear a hallway BUT fill you with shrapnel at the same time:
The Armalite AR-9 (now illegal).
That's right, this gun is illegal. It didn't say anywhere that the weapon had to be possible, just what would I want. I did manage, however, to dig up a picture of this self-loading, semi-automatic 12 gauge shotgun:


The winner - Reliable, close and ranged combat: The Sig Saur P229

Why did I pick this one? It's reliable (in use by the military, Secret Service, and the FBI) and damn efficient. If you're killing off a hoarde, and only get one weapon (hopefully lots of ammo!) this would be it.

2. The song:

Songs are always hard for me. If you ask me tomorrow, I'll have different answers, but here they are for today:

Runner-up: Now We are Free -- Gladiator Soundtrack.

It's quiet, it's cute, and it will let me hear the blood gurgle in their throats.

Runner-up: Down with the Sickness

Come on! Classic zombie killing. Tons o' fun.

Winner: Through the Fire and Flames: Dragonforce.

Thanks, Guitar Hero.

3: The famous person

Runner-up: George W. Bush.

You laugh? Really? Do you think he'd make it OUT of the zombie apocalypse? Zombie president. I'm so there. Yeah, this one isn't to save my ass, more to make myself die laughing. Plus I had to think of a real one, so there it is.

Runner up: Ashley Williams, Evil Dead Series


This man knows zombie killin'. How much more can you say? He comes with the shotgun AND the chainsaw!



Winner: John McClane


Does he really need explanation? He kicks fucking ASS. Period. And that's what you'd need.